DUTIES TOWARDS PARENTS

IN HIS NAME AND IN THE REMEMBRANCE OF HIS LAST HUJJAT (atfs)

DUTIES TOWARDS PARENTS

وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَأَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاَهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيمًا

“And your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him, and do good to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) “ugh” nor chide them, but (always) speak to them reverent speech”  - Surah Al – Isra’, 17:23

Islam ranks the obedience to parents second only to Allah. The extent to which one has to regard his parents and obey them is peculiar only to Islam. None shall even raise his voice higher than the voice of his parents - nor look towards them even eye to eye - nor walk in advance of them - nor address them with their names. Nothing shall be done to bring disrepute or blame on them from the people and if they be believers, the children should pray for their salvation, and if they be disbeliever, they might be gently invited towards the right belief and goodness. If man cannot venerate the ones responsible in bringing him in this world, he will never be able to acknowledge truly the Only One Creator of all mankind.

عَنْ أَبِي وَلاَدِ الْحَنَّاطِ قَالَ: سَأَلْتُ أَبَا عَبْدِ اللٌّهِ (ع) عَنْ قَوْلِ اللٌّهِ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ } وَ بِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْساناً { مَا هٌذَا الإِِحْسَانُ؟ فَقَالَ: الإِِحْسَانُ أَنْ تُحْسِنَ صُحْبَتَهُمَا وَ أَنْ لاَ تُكَلِّفَهُمَا أَنْ يَسْأَلاَكَ شَيْئاً مِمَّا يَحْتَاجَانِ إِلَيْهِ‏.

Abu Wallad al-Hannat narrates that he once asked Imam as-Sadiq (as) about the meaning of the words of Allah (in the Qur’an): (And be good to parents.”).The Imam (as) replied: “Being good to them means to accompany them in a good manner and never to wait for them to ask you for what they need.” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 79

عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللٌّهِ (ع) قَالَ: لَوْ عَلِمَ اللٌّهُ شَيْئاً أَدْنَى مِنْ أُفٍّ لَنَهَى عَنْهُ وَ هُوَ مِنْ أَدْنَى الْعُقُوقِ وَ مِنَ الْعُقُوقِ أَنْ يَنْظُرَ الرَّجُلُ إِلَى وَالِدَيْهِ فَيُحِدَّ النَّظَرَ إِلَيْهِمَا.

Imam as-Sadiq (as) has said: “Had Allah known of a thing more trivial and insignificant than the word ‘ugh’, he would have forbidden it (to be spoken to the parents).  Uttering ‘ugh’ (to the parents) is the mildest form of ill conduct towards the parents.  One of the ways in which a person can be regarded as being disowned by the parents is that he casts a hard and stern look upon them.”

Al-Kafi, Volume 4, Page 50

First and Foremost is Mother

عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللٌّهِ (ع): قَالَ جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ (ص) فَقَالَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللٌّهِ مَنْ أَبَرُّ؟ قَالَ أُمَّكَ. قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ أُمَّكَ. قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ أُمَّكَ. قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ أَبَاكَ‏.

Imam as-Sadiq (as) relates that once a person approached the Noble Prophet (s.a.w.a) and asked: “O’ Prophet of Allah!  Towards whom should I exhibit goodness and kindness?”  The Noble Prophet replied: “Towards your mother.”  The man then asked: “And after that towards whom?”  The Noble Prophet again said: “Your Mother.”  He asked again: “And then?”  Once again, he replied: “Your mother.”  For the fourth time the man asked: “And then?”  This time he said: “(Then towards) Your father.”  Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 49

In yet another verse Of Holy Quran , Allah  specifically explaining the pain taken by mother.

And (God says:) “We have enjoined upon man goodness towards his parents: his mother bore him by bearing strain upon strain, and his utter dependence on her lasted two years: (hence, O man,) be grateful towards Me and towards thy parents, (and remember that) with Me is all journey’s end. Surah Luqman, 13 :14

Rights Of Father

عَنْ أَبِي الْحَسَنِ عَلِيِّ بنِ مُوسَى (ع) قَالَ: سَأَلَ رَجُلٌ رَسُولَ اللٌّهِ(ص) مَا حَقُّ الْوَالِدِ عَلَى وَلَدِهِ؟ لَهُ‏. يَسْتَسِبُّ قَالَ: لاَ يُسَمِّيهِ بِاسْمِهِ وَ لاَ يَمْشِي بَيْنَ يَدَيْهِ وَ لاَ يَجْلِسُ قَبْلَهُ وَ لاَ                         

.

Imam ar-Ridha (as) narrates that a person once asked the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.a.): “What are the rights of the father upon the son?”  The Noble Prophet replied: “He should not call his father by name, he should not walk ahead of him, he should not sit until his father has seated himself and he should not do such acts as a result of which people abuse his father.” Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 45

Best way to gain closeness to Allah (swt)

قَالَ الصَّادِقُ (ع): بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ مِنْ حُسْنِ مَعْرِفَةِ الْعَبْدِ بِاللٌّهِ إِذْ لاَ عِبَادَةَ أَسْرَعُ بُلُوغاً بِصَاحِبِهَا إِلَى رِضَى اللٌّهِ مِنْ بِرِّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ الْمُسْلِمَيْنِ لِوَجْهِ اللٌّهِ.

Imam as-Sadiq (as) has said: “Goodness towards the parents is an indication of a person’s excellent cognizance of Allah.  This is because there is no worship that can take a person towards the happiness of Allah faster than exhibiting respect towards his Muslim parents for the sake of Allah.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, pg.77
 

عَنِ الصَّادِقِ (ع): قَالَ بَيْنَا مُوسى بْنِ عِمْرَانَ يُنَاجِي رَبَّهُ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ إِذْ رَأَى رَجُلاً تَحْتَ ظِلِّ عَرْشِ اللٌّهِ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ. فَقَالَ: يَا رَبِّ مَنْ هٌذَا الَّذِي قَدْ أَظَلَّهُ عَرْشُكَ؟ فَقَالَ: هٌذَا كَانَ بَارًّا بِوَالِدَيْهِ وَ لَمْ يَمْشِ بَالنَّمِيمَةِ.

Imam as-Sadiq (as) related: “Once when Prophet Musa (as) was engaged in a conversation with his Lord, The Mighty, The Glorious, he observed a person beneath the `Arsh (Throne) of Allah, whereupon he (as) asked:  O’ My Lord!  Who is this person, who is being sheltered by Your `Arsh?”  Allah replied: “This person had been kind and good towards his parents and never indulged in slandering (them).”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 65

Disrespect Of Parents

عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللٌّهِ (ع) قَالَ: مَنْ نَظَرَ إِلَى أَبَوَيْهِ نَظَرَ مَاقِتٍ وَ هُمَا ظَالِمَانِ لَهُ لَمْ يَقْبَلِ اللٌّهُ لَهُ صَلاَةً.

Imam as-Sadiq (as) has said: “Allah shall not accept the prayers of a person who looks at his parents with hatred, even if they have been unfair to him!”

Al-Kafi, Volume 4, Page 50

قَالَ أَمِيـرُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ (ع): مَنْ أَحْزَنَ وَالِدَيْهِ فَقَدْ عَقَّهُمَا.

The Commander of the Faithful (as) has said: “One who causes his parents to become sad has indeed been disowned by them.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 64

Cause of Displeasure of  Imam Of the Time

عن أَبِي جَعْفَرٍ (ع) قَالَ: إِنَّ أَبِي نَظَرَ إِلَى رَجُلٍ وَ مَعَهُ ابْنُهُ يَمْشِي وَ الإِبْنُ مُتَّكِئٌ

 عَلَى ذِرَاعِ الأََبِ قَالَ فَمَا كَلَّمَهُ أَبِي (ع) مَقْتاً لَهُ حَتَّى فَارَقَ الدُّنْيَا.

Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (as) relates: “Once my father saw a person and his son walking together.  As they walked, the son was leaning against the arm of his father.  (This act of the son was so abhorrent and infuriating to my father that) he (as) never spoke to him throughout his life.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 64

Dua For Parents

وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

And make yourself submissively gentle to them with compassion, and say: “O my Lord! have compassion on them, as they brought me up (when I was) a child.” Surah Al-Isra’, 17:24

May ALLAH (swt) give us tawfeeq to obey our parents which will cause the pleasure and happiness of Hazrat Hujjat (atfs) and will take us closer to our creator, ALLAH, The Most High.